Stuff. Everything.

Do you still remember when our love was going to last forever? When you made an effort to give me butterflies? Granted; times change. We're not in the honeymoon phase any longer. We're still in love as ever before but I don't want us to take it for granted. I want to know that I'm still capable of taking your breath away. I still want to know that you dream of our future. 

I really want to get back into photography again. Once I lost access to a darkroom, I drifted away. And I want that passion back. I want to remember how it feels to be behind a camera. To create art. I want to learn new things. I want a Holga. I want a tilt-shift lense. I want to create beauty. I want people to fall in love with my photos again.

I want to do something exciting. Going to College has lost its appeal. I still want to go, but I want to do something drastic with my life. Something I know I'm not going to be able to do for years anyways. (I'll let you in on a secret; I'm really jealous that Brittany's getting married. I may talk and say it's a stupid idea, but there's a certain appeal to it. For one, she'll have someone to come home to every day. She doesn't have to deal with being separated from the person she loves. And she gets to have her day. The day I've already planned for me.)






Sometimes I wish I had a more exciting taste in clothes. Or I was more daring. Or I had the body to wear the type of clothes I like. Sometimes I see things and think -that's adorable! But... It'd never fit me right. Its a sucky feeling. That's why I love my hair. No matter what, I can pull off ANYTHING with my hair; It's my pride and joy. Oh, and I love jeans. LOVE.

The Cure.

The Beginning.

Remember the first status train? Lavina's. Then Jessie's. 

The first phone call? It took hours. We fell asleep on the phone. Casey was there.

The first text message? "Entertain me."

Being too tired to say "comfortable" correctly... 

Our Ten Things: 


me to him.
1. you speak german.
2. hmm... song or movie? hmm... idk. haha.
3. you:)
4. "eat my dick." haha.
5. something on facebook. haha.
6. ...a puppy. softie :P
7. what're you like in person? haha.
8. your a softie :P haha.
9. your so obsessed with being hardcore.
10. your turn.


him to me.
1. You have the urge to run over people in wheelchairs.
2. Scream-Avenged Sevenfold
3. You :) (I didn't steal this answer thank you very much!)
4. Comfyble, essplode, butt darts.
5. Lavina's comment train that I started.
6. Parrot.
7. Why do you want to break into a hotel so bad? Haha.
8. You're the most wonderful person I've ever met :)
9. You down yourself too much, cheer up, you're a great person :)
20. We did each other, we're even lol.








"isn't it interesting, how the thing i hate the most is what we've become?"
May 13th, 2009
"I love you :)"
"I love you too :)"


Zorro  ♥<3♥

Christmas Break, 09

Call of duty <3

Brookelyn <3

Bowling <3

Graceland <3

Giraffes <3

The Amityville Horror <3

Dead Silence <3

The couch <3

Olive Garden -- first date :) <3

Evish Preshy! 

Mr. Brightside.

I love you.
You're mine, mine only.
And no one else can have you.
(because I can't live through losing you.)


Why do I feel so threatened? 


He assures me all the time, that he loves me, and only me. And that he doesn't want to leave me.
But he wants to set things straight with them. With people he's got history with.
     What did they give him that I don't?


Why do I have to be so possessive?


What if he remembers why he liked them so much in the first place, 
and decides that's what he wants again?
What is it that they have that I can't give him?
Why does it matter so much to him, if I'm so much better than they ever were anyways?



How do I make it stop?

I Miss You.

I was spoiled.
I had you every day, all to myself, twenty four seven.

I didn't just get to see you every day,

you were the first person I saw every morning

the one person I held on to all day

the last person I saw before I went to sleep

and even while I slept

I was in your arms.

you weren't confined to my dreams any longer

you were real

and now we're so far apart again.

but I'll see you soon

i don't have to wait as long this time

and most of the time, that makes me feel better

but I miss you.

so much.

and sometimes, it hurts.

sometimes, it breaks my heart.