Nightmares.

I've been dreaming a lot lately about the scariest things. Things attacking me. People I love leaving me. Killing people. People I don't even know; Innocent people. Inanimate objects, like the house, controlling my mind into letting it kill me. Ferris Wheels looming over my house like an omen. My mother and father screaming my fears at me. I don't even know where it's coming from. All I know is that I don't think I can take it anymore. I don't know why these nightmares are manifesting, what they mean, what I've done... 
I literally had a dream that a house was attacking me. Things were coming out the walls to pull me in with them. The house was controlling my mind to not stop them. There was nothing I could do, I was so powerless. It sounds silly, but I was so scared. I didn't know how to handle myself. It wasn't okay. I had a dream that I killed someone with my father. That was the dream with the Ferris Wheel. An innocent person, in my way of finding out what happened to Adam and why he left me. He didn't do anything wrong, and I killed him. I straight up stabbed him multiple times in the stomach and my dad and I hid the body. And I know I'd never do that. I could never kill someone, especially someone who was innocent. 

I want them to stop. I want them to go away. I want to feel safe falling asleep again. And I don't know how to do that. It's not like I can afford therapy. It's not like I've ever had dreams like this before. Or at least, not this often. They only started after I got back from Memphis. I don't know what they mean. I don't know why they stay. But I don't want to be afraid of falling asleep anymore.