If I could grasp this, get my hands on it, get a feel for it and get to know it,
then maybe I could grow to love it.
But this is so elusive, so tricky and so willing to stay hidden and i don't know
exactly what I'm missing.
I can identify little things, little perks, little quirks that
help me understand bits and pieces that
only confuse me more. I understand that I have to write in broken lines
to be able to follow what I'm reading.
I've lost the ability to read paragraphs of writing.
I understand that I'm learning to keep a grasp on sobriety
in the most drunken of situations, but I am who I am
and you still kissed me again. and this time it was different. it didn't move the world. it didn't set off fireworks and make me swoon. being your friend is so weird.
but I did like the dancing. I do love to just do that
bump and grind and have some physical connection without going too far.
I've forgotten what I was talking about, what I was looking for.
See how it evades me? It's a part of me that doesn't
want to be found... But without knowing it...
I'm lost.
Maybe now is not meant for finding someone else... but finding yourself. Finding out who you are, who you want to be, and how different those two people are. Love will come in time... and on it's own. It's best left to grow in it's own time.. I mean.. what isn't better when it's strong and wild grown?!
ReplyDeleteAnyhow... You'll find your way.. And I've got my fingers crossed that your way will stay on the path of our wonderful friendship. :)